How Do I Stay Balanced?
The busier life continues to get, the more challenging it is to stay balanced. As a young dad, I wear many hats. I’m a husband, father, provider, son, brother, web designer, church member, blogger, and man with many hobbies. There is always something pulling for my time and attention. It is incredibly easy to spend all my time doing good things rather than focusing on the best things. How do I stay balanced? How do I decide what to focus my time and attention on?
Make Time For What Really Matters
Elder David A. Bednar gave a powerful answer to how to stay balanced and other questions I have struggled with in the past:
When we say things like “I just didn’t have enough time”… that isn’t true. We all have 1,440 minutes (24 hours) each day to invest the best we can. How we choose to spend that time is entirely up to us. If we didn’t have time to read our scriptures, that simply isn’t true. Something else was more important.
Elder Bednar’s follow-up answer to how to handle separate things that are equally important that we have to choose between has been very helpful too. When he was a young Stake President with a young son, he once asked his Dad as he was leaving to one of his church meetings, “Dad can’t you play with me now?” His heart would break. He knew he needed to go do the calling he was asked to do, but needed to be a father to his son. In that moment, he couldn’t do both at the same time. His counsel was this:
I can either go crazy, or I make sure I don’t always tell him no, and I don’t always tell him yes. So there are times when it is good for him to see me leave so I can fulfill my church responsibility, and there are times when it’s good for him to see I am going to get there… maybe a little bit late, because I am going to stay with him a little bit longer. In no one episode can you do it all but over time, there should be a rough balance between all of those fundamental priorities.
I loved his object lesson about spinning plates. It is impossible to have balanced and spinning plates rotating at the exact same speed. Each plate will either be slower or faster than another. Some require our attention to keep spinning. It is also possible to be spinning too many plates. Focus spinning the plates that matter most.
There’s No Such Thing As Life Balance
I have learned over the years that the phrase “life balance” is simply not true. It is impossible to be perfectly balanced in every area of life. When we say yes to something, we are saying no to something else. So what do we say yes and no to?
I truly believe one of Satan’s frequently used strategies to keep us from becoming our best self is distraction. He wants to keep us from reaching our full potential. If he can’t get us to sin and make poor choices, the very next best thing he can do is get us to not use our time well.
Elder Richard G. Scott counseled,
The Spirit has taught me that Satan doesn’t have to tempt us to do bad things—he can accomplish much of his objective by distracting us with many acceptable things, thus keeping us from accomplishing the essential ones. Part of our testing here on earth is to have so many seemingly interesting things to do that we can forget the main purposes for being here.
Satan works very hard so that the essential things won’t happen. In quiet moments when you think about it, you recognize what is critically important in life and what isn’t. Be wise and don’t let good things crowd out those that are essential.
Are there so many fascinating, exciting things to do, or so many challenges pressing upon you, that it is hard to keep focused on that which is essential? When things of the world crowd in, all too often the wrong things are allowed to take highest priority. Then it is easy to forget the fundamental purpose of life. Satan has a powerful tool to use against good people, those who are committed to a worthy, righteous life, who want to do good and intend to make the most of this life. His tool is distraction. He has an extensive array of undeniably good things that are used to keep us from doing the essential ones. Have you noticed that when you begin to focus on something truly important, something of eternal significance, there often come thoughts of other good things to distract you? Satan promotes distraction. He would have good people fill life with“ good things” so there is no room for the“ essential ones.” Have you unconsciously been caught in that trap?
Elder Richard G. Scott, “Finding Peace, Happiness, and Joy” (Chapter 2)
Over the years, my understanding and definition of what it means to be productive has evolved and changed. I would start defining productivity by what it is not. Productivity is not about doing more in less time. To me, productivity is choosing to focus on the best things rather than the good and better things. I think Michael Hyatt defined it best:
Productivity is not about getting more things done; it’s about getting the right things done. It’s about starting each day with clarity and ending with a sense of satisfaction, accomplishment, and energy to spare. It’s about achieving more by doing less.
Michael Hyatt, “Free To Focus”
Focusing on the best investment of our time for our relationships and personal growth is what being productive means to me. Stephen Covey’s “big rocks” object lesson is a great reminder of how to make sure the most important things happen:
So How Do I Stay Balanced?
Focus on the things that matter most. Remember that the most important things are not things. Don’t spin too many plates are try to squeeze in too many big rocks. Sometimes the best things to do, is absolutely nothing. It may be best to just be present in the moment. There have been days where we just needed to take some personal time to recharge, rest, and clear our minds. Some of my favorite moments with my family have been when we just sat on the couch together laughing, reading, or telling stories. If we prioritize what truly matters most and do our best to follow the Spirit, we will accomplish what is truly essential.